God gave me a gift. That thing being extraordinary compassion.
For my entire life I've been a part of the cool crowd. Even when the cool kids became drug addicts and teen pregnancies, I was always just accepted once again by the new evolution of the popular crowd. And so on and so forth, from elementary school to junior high to high school. In college I was a member of the most raucous and rowdy fraternity on campus. I don't know how well you know me, but I don't party. How on earth did I wind up a part of the most hard partying group of people I'd ever met? The answer lies in a part of my personality that is deeply ingrained in who I am, possibly on a chemical level. People like me because I give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't jump to conclusions about who they are based on surface level observations. But I'm also not free from judgementalism. Due to my insecurities, I've always been afraid that I'd be outed as a fake. Because even though I've always ended up with people who are "cool," I've never actually felt cool. So as soon as I felt I couldn't keep up, I'd start my judging. Because I knew that arrogant people would just end up destroying themselves and I was going to be the first one to point and say "I told you so." But all of this has changed. I will no longer judge the arrogant. And here is why:
Everybody's hurting about something.
So I'm through denying my God given gift of compassion. While I was bitter before, about the state of the world, about the selfishness of my yuppy peers, now I'm going to take this unique position I've been put in and I'm going to put my gift to use by loving these people. I don't care about their cars, jobs, jewelry, cocaine addictions, clothing or sexual habits. I'm going to love them anyway. I'm going to do this because I'm a Christian. A Christian who is scared to death of dance floors, drinks a little too much, and hates get to know you games. And this way, these people who have so little exposure to the world I've known for the last 6 years inside the Christian bubble, will get to know a Christian who loves them despite their arrogance. This is going to be hard for me, but rewarding when I look back upon my life.
I hope this post makes sense. It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Expect more posts about my feelings soon. I hope you don't feel like I've been trying to sell you things lately. As my apology, I'd like to open myself emotionally a bit, to show you that there is an imperfect human writing this blog, not just a guy who is trying to sell himself.
Thank you very much.